Wednesday, November 01, 2006

What Happens to Us at Adolescence

At adolescence we come to realise that the unrepressed loving expression of the soul threatens the neurotic repressed adults around us and we begin to repress it within ourselves, developing a repressed, neurotic character structure ourselves which is in turn threatened by the soul within.

When I reached adolescence I became terrified and found myself at times obsessed with the thought that, if I did not keep my feelings bottled up inside, I might kill a baby. I was also afraid that things I said might cripple the people around me. I couldn't bring myself to attack my soul or the soul in others, but hanging on to it made my psyche a horrendous battleground in which the conflicts of the neurotic adults of the world was played out. At adolescence I also developed the fear that I might gouge out my own eyes as Oedipus did when he realised that he had killed his father (the neurotic ego) and slept with his mother (continued to express soulful love for his mother in a physical form - not fuck her, but simply remain in a close physical bond with her). Freud was right, hence the Oedipus complex and the incest taboo.

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